Life is not always about roses and neither is marriage. If you have been together for 10 years, you will face beautiful, but also difficult times. Every house has its cross and so does every marriage. These are the most common marital problems after the first 10 years:
Your partner is your roommate
After so many years of being together and living together, you are more roommates than lovers. You share a household together and the romance is sometimes hard to find. Don’t worry, it happens to the best of couples! Remind yourself of how you behave towards each other, and make it a little more romantic if you both yearn for it.
You got bored
You have been looking at the same face for years, hearing the same voice for years and sleeping with the same person for years. This can bore you every now and then, your routine is nice – but also boring. Still, you can do something about that routine. You can make changes (no matter how small) to break the routine. For example, go on a date again, easy does it.
Your sex life is no longer what it used to be
In the past, the sparks would fly and you could almost eat each other. That this is not always the case after 10 years is not a problem. You know how it works, how it works together and what the sex will be like. If you find this annoying, then something can be done about it. A little inspiration in a completely different setting doesn’t hurt.
You feel stunted
Sometimes angry feelings come up that are directed towards your partner. For example, you can think: ‘Because of you I did this and not that’, or ‘You got in the way of my dream’. Later on, you start swiping profiles on match making websites or dating apps like tinder to fulfill your needs. These, of course, are not the most pleasant of thoughts and in fact they are not fair. You have chosen your partner and you simply cannot have everything in life. Look at what you do have, not what you don’t.
You tolerate less
In the first few years of being together, you sometimes wanted to give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Now that you have been together for longer (and something is bothering you), let him know this much faster. You no longer feel like keeping things to yourself, everything can be discussed and you think he shouldn’t act so strange. You save each other less than before.
You no longer dwell on milestones
You once celebrated your first year together and thought you would celebrate it every year. But you haven’t been doing this for a long time. You may not even think about it anymore. This is all possible! You’ve been together for so long that ‘the day’ makes no difference. This does not have to be a bad sign, because maybe you celebrate it every day when you are together.
You forget to do ‘fun’
Sometimes we come home after a long day and don’t bother to be fun, or to have fun. Your partner has to join in and we don’t pretend. In the past you would sharpen your attitude, but you have not been doing that for a long time. This also applies to him. You are no longer squirming in turns or untruths.