Over time relationships can become routine. There are some things that will help bring some excitement back.
The vows of a wedding ceremony talk about being together until death do you part or for all the days of your lives. When a couple speaks those words during their wedding ceremony, they feel a rush of excitement and they also wonder what that will really mean.
The honeymoon stage of the marriage continues that initial excitement of those words. Something happens over time. The longer a couple stays together, the less often they feel that excitement. They get into the routine of life that includes work, kids and bills. Those things start to take over the things that led up to the marriage. One of the things that married couples often lose is romance.
Losing the romance in a marriage is not because people don’t want it anymore. It gets lost in all the other parts of life. Romance in a marriage is possible, but it requires work. A couple has to find a way to keep the romance alive and to help it thrive. A couple has to put some work into their marriage if they want to find the romance. The problem is no that people don’t want to find the romance of their relationship or that they are not willing to do the work. The problem is that they don’t know how to do it. They need to find some ways to fuel the romance.
Open a Line of Communication
One of the biggest reasons that romance goes away is because no one talks about it. Bringing the romance back starts by talking about how you feel the relationship. When two people start to talk about the need for romance, they quickly find out that it is something the other person wants to. Always remember that communication involves two things. The first is talking to the other person. The second is listening to what the other person says. The goal is for the couple to agree that they can do more to put romance back where it belongs.
One of the easiest ways to find some romance in a relationship is to go someplace new. Take the excitement of the new experience and let that flow into the relationship. It is not enough to just get away if you want to find the romance. You also need to have a plan.
The plan for a special vacation begins with the first step of communicating. That helps decide what kind of getaway will work the best. While there are many things that may seem like an obstacle to getting away, talking through it will make it possible.
Get Physical Through Touch
When people first start a relationship, they go through stages of touching. It starts with holding hands and grows to more physical touch. After marriage, those little touches and the slow build-up of the physical part of a relationship seem to disappear. Take some time to bring the simple touches back to the relationship. This helps to re-establish the connection that began at the start of the relationship.
Getting physical through touch can occur in many ways. It can be as simple as holding hands, but can also include sensual massages. All these things take time. The time spent focusing on touch will also allow a couple to continue to communicate about how they feel. Let your partner know what you like and what you don’t like.
Do the Unexpected
One of the problems people run into the longer they stay married is that they get to know each other very well. That can contribute to them falling into a routine that does not allow the romance. The way to change that is to do the unexpected. Find ways to surprise your partner. There are plenty of different ways to do this.
- Candlelight dinners at home
- Take a walk in a park
- Ask your partner out on a date
A surprise does not have to cost a lot of money. It is about finding ways to spend time together in a different way than normal.
No Gifts Needed
People give gifts in a marriage for different reasons. They may use it to commemorate a birthday or a special event. It is also common for people to use gifts to try to resolve a problem or to apologize for something they did or didn’t. While gifts may help in these instances, they are not going to help bring romance to the party. If you try to give a gift to spark the romance, you may find that your partner misunderstands the reason for the gift and takes it the wrong way. The best gift to give to build romance is the gift of time.
Changing the Routine
One of the best ways to spark romance in a marriage is to do something new. The biggest reason that romance goes away is that the routine of marriage gets in the way. Coming up with something new and out of the ordinary can help build the romance.
Consider engaging in one-on-one activities such as dancing or playing tennis that you never did before. The excitement of learning something new can roll over into the building of the romance.
Bring Back the Physical
This is the step that can bring many of the other steps for romance together. The physical part of a marriage is hard to maintain. There are some many things going on, that a couple cannot find the time to dedicate to being physical with each other.
Talk about the need to increase the physical part of a relationship. Consider trying different places to have sex instead of following the same old routine. Try new things in bed like wearing sexy lingerie or experimenting with toys. There are plenty of different ways to get more physical with each other if you make it a priority.
Go to Romance School
It is okay to admit that you don’t know everything you need to know about romance in a marriage. You may not know the best way to talk to each other, to touch each other or how to change your routines in the bedroom. You may struggle to come up with a place to visit to spark romance or to come up with different ideas about how to do romantic things. If you are willing to learn about romance, you can find places that will help you.
One place to turn to is online sex chat rooms and try to learn new tips to start a sensual conversation. These websites allow you to talk to other people and find out how they do things that are romantic. You can then implement the learnings into your relationship with your partner. Further, you can also learn a new language that you can share with your partner. You can bring something new to the relationship that will help put the romance back into it.
It is possible to continue a romantic relationship in the way you intended when you said until death does us part. It is not easy and there are times when you may struggle to keep the fire burning bright. The good thing is that as long as there is an ember of romance, the fire just needs a little fuel.